He heals the brokenhearted

So this post is going to be a little bit more personal than usual but I need to write it out - so here it is.

The other night my boyfriend and I broke up. Yep, that was hard to write. I'm not going to go into more details but God is calling us in different directions in life. In my heart and in his we know this is the right thing, there is a certain peace about it but that doesn't take away the pain.

The sinful part of my nature wants to be angry, to find someone to blame, but I know stooping to that will not honor God or the decision and when I'm hurting I keep recalling different scriptures and trying to lean on Jesus when it's overwhelming. 

This morning I checked the Verse of the day on my phone and it was from 1 Samuel 12 - Verse 15:

" But if you do not obey the Lord, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you, as it was against your ancestors."

That was my first reminder, that obeying God in more important than anything and that it won't be good for anyone who pushes and fights against it. 

My second reminder came from several days before the break up, I was reading through 1 Corinthians 7, which for quick reference is Concerning married life/the unmarried and my thoughts were stuck on verses 34-35: 

"An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.  I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

And at the time I thought and just said to God, that I would be content in serving Him whether single or married and God definitely reminded me of it! And I don't take it back. Yes I'm hurting, I'm not ok right this second - but I will be, 

Because He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 

Praise God! 

Housekeeping *

I haven't posted much in a while, I got a job working in housekeeping at a hotel recently, though it's not my field of work or where I'd hoped to be, but God has been teaching me things where I am as I work and wait for directions into my next step of life. Currently I have plans to go back to school for a post diploma 1 year course, so we'll see what happens there!

Right now though, I'm in housekeeping and God has been teaching me to be content and even joyful in my circumstances where most co-workers complain about being there every single day, it's hard to not go right along with that - yes there are things to complain about but well it's pretty clear where God stands on the issue of complaining and being unthankful, so that is where I must stand on the issue and let him help me to not have that sin take over.

God has also been teaching me a bit about humbleness. Housekeeping can be a pretty dirty job, and yes some people actually do trash hotel rooms - it's not just in movies- but this is work that is mostly unnoticed, unappreciated and something you have to do all over again the next day - this is another area when it can become easy to start complaining but somehow, when I start thinking about it I just picture Jesus washing His disciples feet and how He would have washed everyone's feet and I think about that sometimes when I'm scrubbing bathroom floors - that Jesus is the most beutifully humble person and I want to emulate that as well.

illustrated verse (again)

I made this little piece for my good friend and was able to give it to her on Thursday!

Based on her favourite bible verse- Romans 8: 38-39  :)

 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God

~

I hadn't posted it before hand because she actually reads my blog and I wanted to surprise her!  ;) 

My Shield

Currently I seem to be in one of the strangest parts of life..
I just graduated college and am looking for a job in my field, I've moved back home, all my friends have moved to different cities for school, jobs etc.  and there doesn't seem to be much here for me any more. It really is a difficult stage to be in. I truly have no clue where I should be, if  I should be waiting on God for something or if I should be choosing a specific city that isn't a small town for work or if I should do some online courses. I really truly have no idea. It's frustrating, I want to cry, I want to be out serving people again, having adventures, have peers my own age around, but that's not what my circumstances are right now.

Though I'm having a difficult time, I love how throughout the bible God is often referred to as a shield.

As I was thinking about this I pictured soldiers, and super heroes and characters who have shields portrayed in movies and I began to think about how God - when described as a shield is different.

Firstly,  God as a shield, as a protector, would cover all of us (not just half of us, such as in war movies), whether we know it or not - It's unbelievable to think of all the ways He protects us that we will probably never find out about until we see Him face to face.

Secondly, a shield can represent a family or group you belong to - We belong to God!

Lastly, we wouldn't need a shield if we didn't need protection, if we weren't constantly in a spiritual battle raging around us. Thankfully God is strapped to us but we have to keep fighting, advancing forwards - pressing on, but we have a protector who loves us and covers all of us.
And that is really encouraging :)

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

~Psalm 18:30 ~

We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
    even as we put our hope in you.

~Psalm 33:20-22~

Unashamed

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.

~Romans 1:16~

Have you ever had those moments where you've said something or someone else has said something that only another Christian would understand? Different phrases that become popular in these circles (apparently they call this 'Christian-ese') - I have no issue against it, That's all fine and dandy, but what if that person says that sort of thing in front of people who are not Christians, who don't understand it? It makes your stomach a little bit queasy and you might think 'oh man, this person/group of people are going to think I'm a total weirdo if I agree with this?' ... I wouldn't want that would I?

That queasy feeling my friends, is your self preservation taking over - this is the part where you start to care more about yourself and what others think of you than you do about the glory of Christ.

I've found throughout college that this happened a lot. And there were two choices - staying silent or letting it be an opportunity.  An opportunity to explain what others might mean by 'christian-ese' sayings.
The second best way I've found these opportunities come up is in news stories, everyone talks about the news -especially stories about chaos and controversial issues- I usually love this opportunity because there is a chance to come at an issue with a biblical outlook - one that many may not get to hear and shows where God hearts is in things rather than one's own personal opinion on everything.

But... what will I say?  That's usually the next question in my mind and I'm always encouraged that firstly, if you've been spending time with God, and reading His word then you will know  where God stands on certain issues that are talked about in the bible the second piece that encourages me is this verse (and the two similar in Mark 13:11 & Luke 12:11) ::

"and you will even be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles.“But when they hand you over, do not worry about how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say. “For it is not you who speak, but it is the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you." 

Mark 10:18-20

I know these situations and scenarios will constantly come up in life and they have, I know I have stayed silent before and I have felt the uncomfortable squirm as people give each other questioning looks as if asking - is she for real?  I hope that when these things do come up I can pray past the discomfort and possible humiliation and stand unashamed for the gospel and for Jesus, Because He is not ashamed to call me His sister.

Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. 

Hebrews 2:10-11

A wedding picture

I drew this piece today because lately I've been dwelling on Jesus coming back for a bride and how beautiful and lovely and glorious it will be. This picture is based on Revelation 19:7 

"Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb  has come, and His bride has made herself ready" 

I wanted to capture Jesus coming from the clouds in His glory, as a blinding light, which is why we can not actually see Him
(Also: I can not drawn men very well so this spared your eyes my attempt).

I also wanted to capture the bride waiting for Him and looking to Him as He comes for her.
Another small detail I added was that the aisle the bride is walking down is actually a ray of light coming from Jesus himself, which is easy to over look  and not notice at first glance, but I feel it's important! 

I hope whoever sees this enjoys!:) 

Goodbyes

The last week has been hard. I finished my college program -so now I'm a graduate! Which is awesome, but it means I'm moving back home and have had to say a lot of goodbye's.
I'm really really glad for my time here, the things I learned, the people I've met, and I'm glad that I didn't waste it.

My memories of college will of course include sitting in class, sitting in lounges during a three hour break, assignments,  hanging out with my peers,silly jokes and studying. But what I'm most thankful for is that during my two years here I've been able to be a tiny light to people in my secular college. Having conversations about religion, God and who Jesus is to friends and acquaintances, singing worship songs at the bus stop, volunteering with adults living in poverty and learning to love them as Jesus loved the poor people of his time, singing, joking, dancing and praying with people who became friends at bible study, going to do street ministry downtown with friends from bible study,  getting connected with a good church family who cared for me (even if they forgot what program I was in).

These are the memories that are most prominent, this is what I had prayed for before I came to college - to make a lasting, eternal impact on people while I was here - and I sincerely hope I did that. g


So yes, I'm incredibly sad to be moving home, I love my life here and would like to stay and have been thinking the last month about how much I don't want to move back home. And God's been convicting me of that. He;s saying 'Shannon, A new chapter is starting' and He is reminding me that I need to be content in that, despite my feelings about it.
 Now it is time to go home and still be that light until God shows me what I need to be doing there or where He is leading me next.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

~ 1 Timothy 6:6-7 ~

Holy is his name

Exalt the Lord our God  

and worship at his footstool;

    He is holy. 

~Psalm 99:5~

I'm so glad and so very thankful that God is Holy.

Just try to actually think about that...
It's truly impossible to comprehend the concept of someone being truly and completely holy when living in a world of sin and sinners.  I now I'll never really understand until I see God face to face but the small sliver that I can understand brings me to my knees and makes me want to sing and cry all at the same time!

I know my posts have been short and few lately but I just really wanted to get this out. I've taken a good part of this weekend (while I was sick in bed) to re examine my heart and I did not like what I saw and just knew I absolutely had to get back into a place of awe and rejoicing in God's presence before anything could really change in my heart to stir me out of mediocrity. And So I chose to focus on how holy God is and now my little heart is just overflowing with joy! :)
Be encouraged friends!

Another illustrated verse

Another illustrated bible verse I drew up.
 What do y'all think? :) 

~~ 2 Corinthians 6:14 ~~
 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Journaling bible

So the last month I've come across some neat stuff on Instagram where people illustrate bible verses in their bible's. There's truly some neat stuff out there  and I've done a couple of my own that I wanted to show my blogging friends!  (more to come in the future!)

So this was the first one I did. Hosea 10:12

The second one.
Psalm 136 

I find that bible journal-ling helps me to memorize scripture better because I have to write it out (usually a few times) as I plan out a rough draft before making the artwork on water colour !   :) 

Justified through Faith

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,

    and do not resent his rebuke,

12 

because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

    as a father the son he delights in.

~Proverbs 3:11-12 ~

Lately in my walk with God I have been avoiding discipline almost like the plague, and when I haven't been running away from it completely, I have been hiding behind self-justification... and that is one of the worse things I think I can do because it allows my own pride to grow and keeps me in a mindset where I can not be humble and repentant before God.

As soon as I start thinking thoughts like 'God can't possibly care about this one little issue' That's when I know I'm not in a good place... and yet here I am ready and willing to admit it and still a part of me is trying to justify this... literally right now as I'm writing this I thought 'well I could be doing way worse' !!! It seems completely unbelievable, I'm actually appalled with myself!

 I've been struggling with God a lot lately the last few months, I've been too caught up in self and distractions and situations/circumstances in my life.  I definitely need prayer for victory over trying to justify myself before God, because I know that's impossible on my own, and I know it's going to be difficult. My pride is yelling at me right now. And that's ok, because I remembered these verses in Hebrews and wanted them to be the honest cry of my heart and to know they are true and to live them!

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 

~Hebrews 12: 9-11~

I'd like to take this time to encourage anyone else struggling through this- because honestly, if you're reading this and it sounds familiar - then you may have been trying to justify yourself before God (and probably others) then these words may sting and be convicting.

But is that not how the pharisee's would have felt as well?

 And so for the sake of their image, power and pride they killed Jesus to have Him and the discipline and conviction that came from listening to Him (and following Him) out of their lives for good (or so they thought). They chose to cut themselves off from God ... And this is why being humble and repentant and loving the Lord's discipline  is the choice one must make because out of it comes righteousness and true peace!

I don't have a plan!

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. 

~Proverbs 16:3 ~

I got so much encouragement from this verse today! 

I've been thinking about the future, I'm graduating college in a couple months and... to be honest I don't really have a plan, and I'm a person who likes to have a plan otherwise things seem vague, unreal and distant to me... 

But I like what this verse speaks to me - a reminder to commit it to the Lord and HE will establish my plans - They may or may not be my own plans, they may be a time of immense blessing, a period of trial, but most certainly a time of learning to trust Him more. Trust that He has a plan whether I do or not and to walk in accordance to it! :) 

an encouraging verse

Psalm 85:6-7

Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you? Show us your unfailing love LORD that you may grant us your salvation.

Scrubbing the dishes

If anyone knows me, they know that scrubbing dishes is one of my least favourite chores... That's just the way it is. Depending on what was for dinner those dishes can be greasy and have ick-y, caked on food.. and if you leaves the dishes in the sink for a few days... well then it's even worse, and harder to clean up. It means much more of a deliberate effort on my part.


Tonight at bible study we were reading over Romans 7. Now a good chunk of that chapter is Paul talking about the war between our sinful nature and a Christian's new nature- the one full of God's spirit.
They are constantly at war!

And let me tell you, I can definitely relate to that lately... There have been several issues of sin, some habitual that have snuck back into my life..   ~I'm not going to specify because that is between myself and God~ ... But it has been a war of actually doing what I know is right according to God <.vs.> trying on my own to either fight it, or what might be more accurate the last couple weeks, just letting it be.  *Hangs head in shame*

I feel like those dishes left in the sink, sure there were small things I dealt with... but it was like running some water over the dishes...it might have cleared up a small spot but did little to clean the whole pot. I've honestly just been lazy; letting things sit there, all kinds of awful or ungrateful thoughts, selfish behaviours ect.  I felt exactly like Paul when he exclaimed:

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?!
~Romans 7:24~

I had - for the most part-  stopped denying myself - because it was hard, stopped counting myself dead to sin- because it's not that bad right? I stopped picking up my cross- because it was heavy.

I hadn't dealt with anything really, just hadn't gotten around to it - or started to look at what there was to do  - so I avoided it, but there's only so long one can go on like that-after all, the dishes won't clean themselves.


I love the next line after Paul proclaims he's a wretched man --- because it's the solution to our wretched selves - He's the one who can scrub us clean! :) 

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
~Romans 7:25~ 

The sun sets on 2014

 Just a couple of pictures I took while walking the other day... it has been beautiful lately and where I am there has yet to be any snow, which is truly astonishing!

Down near the boardwalk/lake

*Look the grass is still green! 

Further down the boardwalk and later as the sun is setting... 

Amazingly it's the end of December and there is no snow or ice around even the edges of the lake! 

It's beautiful and I could sit there forever! 

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

~ Romans 1:20 ~

Responsible

I have sorely neglected blogging lately. Life has continued on routinely for me, I'm enjoying these final few months that I will be a college student before my life will become a whirlwind of unknowns.

Lately I feel as if God has been teaching me the importance of time and timing. There is a time for everything under heaven you know!

I know there are things that I need to be doing and making the most of while I am in the situation and place that I'm at... And there are also things that God is saying 'hold off'...wait on me, trust me.


At the beginning of the year I prayed about a 'word for the year' and that word was 'Obedience'. I had many many short comings in that but also incredible things that God did. This year I learned to better listen to the quiet gentle leading of God's spirit.. whether it was something bigger like praying through anxious moments, me being at a specific place at a specific time that God used to bless and help others or whether it was a minuscule decision or thought that *I* would hardly consider important but then God would remind me of obedience even in the simplest and tiniest details and I found I was really blessed through that.

I've been thinking and praying about choosing another word for this coming year, since it's really kind of a neat idea. What God has been putting on my heart lately is 'Responsibility'... that may sound strange... but this has been on my heart because I've felt a huge sense of responsibility to maintain my own spiritual growth and to encourage others & help them realize they they are responsible for their souls. Responsibility also better helps me to understand that there are things I must not procrastinate on or put off- I've had that reminder come up several times in the last couple months and have always paid a price when I slacked off - whether that was in school work, personal things or devotion time.

Right now, I am feeling like this word for the year is going to be very difficult to do and to maintain, but I'm looking forward to seeing what God will do with it!

Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes.

 

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings

~Psalm 17:7-8~ 

Gentle reminders

The last month for me has been ordinary yet exciting. Kind of an oxymoron I think. I've been wanting to write and yet I  haven't.

The last month or so God's just been very gently speaking to me about deliberately setting aside time to pray or worship or read the bible in the morning and.. that doesn't always happen - it's a struggle against the flesh to sit down and do that every morning even if I do have the time... And sometimes I've wanted to just cry because I really don't have my priorities in order and I just have to learn to draw closer to Him each morning.

God's also been teaching me to continually come before him and confess sin, even if it seems really small and insignificant and I've found that this gentle reminding has been really good for me especially when I feel the weight of the day starting to push me down.

This month has been full of very gentle reminders and I love when God is like that.

It reminds me of the parable in John 8 where a woman is caught in adultery and the pharisees bring her to the temple in front of Jesus. He could have condemned her, it would have been justified, but instead he was very gentle with her and yet it was still convicting and exactly what she needed at that moment.

I'm really glad that God just knows us intimately and that He knows exactly what we need and when.
Yep. I really love that! :)