"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 ~
I understand intellectually what those words mean but for over a year I have had a little pink sticky note in my bible beside this verse with a little note saying 'I want to experience what this means'. Which is a very dangerous thing to ask.
Because God likes to give when we ask things of Him. For the past year I have tried to skip over this little pink note because my flesh wants the exact opposite. It does not want to know or experience this. And so God decided to give me a small dose.
I came into the New year with a 'super confident, nothing will get me down, "I'm gonna chase all my dreams", not procrastinate on school work, make all these great plans AND be super spiritually disciplined' attitude.
And then... two days before school was set to start back, where I could put most of these things into practice - I got sick.
I got the worst flu I can remember having - it was a pretty brutal 3 days.
It's quite laughable to be honest, for anyone suffering from sickness, chronic pain or diseases that don't go away but God definitely used those days to teach me.
So much for that nothing's going to get me down - I couldn't get prepared and organized for school, I missed the first day of classes, my dreams seemed suddenly halted and I was groaning about how miserable I was - which isn't the best attitude to have when trying to be 'super spiritually disciplined'...
So, I was forced to sit in bed and just talk to God!
And during that time I had to repent of this pride I had in my back to school resolutions, and admit that I was doing all this planning but not allowing or waiting for Him to direct my steps and relying on myself.
In this time of (admittedly short) physical weakness I was able to see more clearly the weakness and sin within my own life and then in His grace He gave me the strength of humility to turn everything I had talked about over to Him again. This was a small dose of what I had been asking for, what I was curious about - 'what does it mean to experience this?' was answered.
And I reflected about this truth: How His power IS made perfect in weakness - in what we can not handle or bear (no matter how small or trivial) because God's power was shown perfectly in the weakness of himself clothed in humanity bearing what we could not.
