Joy, Humility and the Path Unwinding

You know, I have had an amazing couple weeks, I've just been spending a lot of time with God and reading the Bible. I actually have no plan for what I want to write here... This is just going to be typed out and unedited (so if it doesn't make a lot of sense...well sorry but that's my thought process)

Firstly I have felt really encouraged to keep being a light to the world where I am this past week and encouraging others to grow in their walk with God as well!

This past Sunday at church we had a really powerful church service and 6 people gave their lives to Jesus. Myself, a friend of mine, other church members and the pastors all went and prayed for these 6 people whose names I don't even know but in the flurry of tears of joy and hugs it was such a joyful and peaceful moment to be in and the rejoicing of the angels in Heaven over these people just makes me so joyful!
It was also quite powerful for me on Sunday because I remember I was in the same place two years ago today - being asked if we were going to give our lives to Jesus.

I've also just had several moments the last week to just let God really examine my life and some of the small things that I have felt convicted in and to pray about them. I had a really humbling moment last Saturday at a friend's small bible study group and we were singing 'How deep the Father's love for us'
And I remember about two years ago when this was the only Christian song I listened to besides amazing grace and I remember never being able to sing the line 'I will not boast in anything - no gifts, no power, no wisdom- But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection'.  I had forgotten that line was even in the song - and I can sing it now, but I used to think that was pretty extreme- to only boast in Jesus? I've learned it takes a lot of humility before God to sing that, something that was a huge issue for me a couple years ago - but now I realize that He's so completely worthy to be boasted of, because what is more important than Him? :) 

You know, I really think I'm falling in love with this Jesus guy... I mean... I was planning our future together earlier this week and thinking of all the amazing things He can show me as I go through life - from (hopefully one day) marrying a man that is in love with Him and exemplifies Jesus's qualities, to one day being a mother and understanding the tragedy of what it would have been like for the Father to give up His Son and just seeing my life unfold and one day being able to look back at how He's knit my life together - even at this point- and how my journey is changing and unfolding, it's just awesome! :)

Praise God!

Obedience

I learned this week that obedience to God is tough.

That seems pretty obvious maybe, but I've never had much of an issue trying to obey God in most of the big areas of my life. I choose not to go out and party or get involved in anything that God would disapprove of because I want to honor Him.
But that was easy - that stuff isn't my scene anyway.

I recently gave up TV in the last month because I didn't want it anymore and God had been putting it in my mind to just cut it out. So I have and I don't miss it. And that was easy too.

But this past week was something a little more difficult.
Not that what I may have gone through was huge, I'd just never been tested before.

It was a small issue that I hadn't realized I was so involved in and I knew it probably wasn't best for me.
 But I know what I'm doing right?

Well part of me was praying for intervention for God to do something before it became an issue and the other part was saying 'Go away I know how to handle this'

But God is just really good to me and decided to intervene the next day! And yes... I was upset. I was still convinced I could've handled it.

But deep down I knew that I needed to listen and trust God's plan rather than walk myself off of His plan.

The second difficult part about this obedience thing was my attitude towards it. It's been fluctuating back and forth between being sad and being glad. And again I tried to control that- to reign it in, cheer myself up.
But I was doing it in my own strength and that wasn't working. So my go to verse this week had been this:

My flesh and my heart may fail,

    but God is the strength of my heart

    and my portion forever. 

~Psalm 73:26~