This post is probably going to end up being quite personal but it's easier for me to write what I'm thinking or feeling than it is to say it.
I accepted Jesus into my heart either late October or early November 2011.
I don't remember exactly when or have a date, but approximately in a 3 week gap somewhere around that time. I had sort of believed that Jesus was maybe possibly the Son of God for a little while (about 6 months), but the thought process was more like
'Ok, I believe this I guess... now what?' I never didn't do much in that six month gap before accepting Him except feel slightly insulted when someone would make fun of God.
I'd been thinking about really doing something about it for a while, taking the next step and all that, but I was really hesitant, i'm not one to jump into decisions usually, I think about pros and cons to most decisions (including what to eat, read or wear, ya it's a little extreme sometimes :p).
I'd been reading a lot of Christian testimonies or watching videos, and they were all really amazing and inspirational how all of these people's lives were changed, but I noticed that it was mostly stories about alcoholics, addicts or prostitutes. Now I have never had alcohol, touched drugs or cigarettes and I decided when I was about 14 that I would be waiting for marriage, so there was no way I was gonna ever go out and start selling my body.
I didn't have any of these problems and compared to these people I had a really great life. In my mind, there wasn't anything to change in my life. I wasn't into any of this terrible stuff. That's probably why I hesitated so long, I didn't believe my life would really change if I did take the next step.
Boy was I wrong.
At first nothing seemed to happen... and it took a couple months but the way I started to view the world was different, my heart was changing and to my delight so was my life.
=D
I started going to youth group regularly and volunteering at Youth for Christ (YFC), I might also start attending church regularly.
Of course, with all this change I knew there was going to be opposition to this, in fact I kind of expected it and was surprised when it didn't come along...
No one in my family is a Christian, so not really having anyone else to talk to was and still is kind of tough. Once my parents started to notice that youth group and YFC had become a regular thing for a couple months though I started hearing things like
'oh that again',
'doesn't volunteering wear you out?',
'shut off that noise' (referring to the worship music I have a tendency to play),
'heresy',
'church is a waste of time' and
'brainwash'.
These things are meant to mostly be out of concern from my family (I think) but they can really start getting to you. Same with things some of my friends say or...don't say. A lot of the time they no longer ask how my weekend was because it's very likely I'll go off on a tangent about how awesome worship was or God talk at YFC, so many of my friends have started to pull away as well the last few months, which is incredibly sad.
I realize this is nothing compared to persecution the Apostles faced, I just can't even imagine what that must have felt like, or what it's like in another country where people are killed for being Christian. I could keep going on being an angst-y teenager saying I have no friends and my family just doesn't understand me, but that's not the message I want to leave with who ever stuck around and actually read this incredibly long blog post.
I don't regret a thing. I love how my life is going and how God is just working in it all the time and is just continuing to change me, it's just awesome! I can't even think of words to describe it so I'm going to leave it at that! :)
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| Random picture from Google, I thought it was cool |
God bless! :)
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